


A Burden Bore a Blessing Revealed

by NinaFujisaki



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Family Relationships - Freeform, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Friendship, Pidge | Katie Holt-centric, Unplanned Pregnancy, a bit of romantic love, but the main is the mother's love, sometimes friends don't work as lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2019-12-29 21:18:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18302129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinaFujisaki/pseuds/NinaFujisaki
Summary: Being a mother was never one of her dreams, least of all at the beginning of her twenties, and now, looking at herself in the reflection of the mirror at the door of her closet, all her dreams and plans passing through her mind as her eyes drifted down her petite form until her belly...She just could not believe in it.





	1. Finding out

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to post this fic for the second time. Now it has been beta'd by Cyangarden!

_“Katie, this is your firth cup of coffee in the last three hours.”_

Colleen’s words from that morning were repeating in Pidge’s mind as she was driving to her place, her muscles tense and a pharmacy bag resting in place beside her.

_“I know Mom, but without all this coffee I won’t be able to stay awake.”_

Parking the car at the garage’s entrance, she remembered how her mother’s eyes changed from mad to worried once she said that.

_“Are you still feeling sick? I really think you should go to the doctor and see what’s causing all your nausea. It’s not like you to be sick this long.”_

Doctor. Pidge nearly dropped the house keys at that memory. Colleen’s friend had been in the lab with her and her mom this morning.

_“Katie, honey, you’re twenty-one, right?”_

An innocent question, so she only deigned to nod her head in response.

_“And should I assume that you and your boyfriend are sexually active?”_

The burning in Pidge’s throat came back, causing her to choke and want to change her course to the Kitchen for a glass of water. But she couldn’t do to get distracted now. She continued up the stairs to the second story bathroom, the bag from the pharmacy held tightly in her hand.

 _“Jane, what are you insinuating?”_  

Thank heavens for Colleen Holt, because she asked the exact question that her daughter wanted to know before she even recovered from choking on her embarrassment at the question.

_“It would take some testing to be sure, but the symptoms are quite pronounced.”_

Pidge slammed the bathroom door, remembering the woman’s gentle smile and the sweet, happy way she said,

_“You’re probably going to be a mom.”_

“NO!” Pidge spread her hands against the counter, looking at the pregnancy test she had just taken.

She could hear the blood pumping in her ears. That couldn’t be true. Even doctors were humans and could make mistakes. Jane’s suspicions can’t be true, because there’s simply no way that she, Katie “Pidge” Holt, would be expecting a baby with her ex-comrade and current boyfriend, Lance McClain.

The test, however, proved her wrong, when her eyes, frozen on the little screen, saw two strokes slowly forming a plus sign.

_Positive._

Katie felt her stomach sink, everything around her spun and for a moment she thought she was going to be sick again as she had been this morning. She hugged her stomach with one arm, looking from the test to her own body, that was saying...there was something here.

“No.” She murmured to herself, shaking her head.

Tests could also go wrong, she couldn’t rely on only one.

Luckily, she had bought three more, all different brands.

Katie took the other three tests in quick succession (turns out drinking all that coffee this morning was good for something), propped all three of them on the bathroom sink, and waited, pacing inside the small, rectangular space as she gnawed at the nail of her thumb.

That first positive was still on her mind and Katie had to control herself to keep her other hand away from her belly. She shouldn’t get used to an idea that simply might not be true.

For the entire year they had been dating, Pidge and lance had been extremely careful the few times they’d had sex, and, even though she hadn’t been taking contraceptives in recent months, due to her doctor’s advice, Lance still wore protection every time.

…Or almost every time.

“Quiznack…” Pidge roared at herself, remembering the morning after that crazy Halloween party weeks ago.

Neither she nor Lance had drunk anything, but the adrenaline of the party, plus the recent events of that day, were enough to make them think less straight for one night. It was an awesome experience at the time, but now, sitting here on the toilet, while waiting for the results of three pregnancy tests, Pidge wondered how she could have let herself get so irresponsible.

Breathing in and out slowly, Pidge closed her eyes before standing up and walking the two steps to her sink where the tests would be ready to read.

“With the McClain genes involved, once is more than enough.” Lance’s mother had told her that after the first time she had shared a room with Lance on his family’s farm. And, though ashamed at that moment, Katie found it was just a family joke.

The four test, all with positive results, however, were not funny at all.

No sickness or dizziness hit her this time however. It did feel like her heart leapt into her chest, her hand returning to her belly in an involuntary gesture. Was this really happening to her?

The tinkling of her phone’s ringtone brought her back to the present world.

Pidge had completely forgotten that she had promised to call her mother after she got home and took the tests. She assumed the caller was Colleen.

Pidge opened the door and left the bathroom to access the electronic panel on her bedroom wall.

Once she pressed the answer call button, a screen appeared in front of her, but it wasn’t Colleen’s face that came up. Pidge felt like the blood in her veins froze as Lance’s face came into view on her screen.

“Hey Pidge,” he greeted her with a slight smile.

She tried to return the gesture, but she was almost sure that her smile seemed more nervous than anything else.

“H-hey Lance, how’re doing?”

“I guess I should be asking you that?” Suddenly, Katie could see the worry on his face. “Your mom called me about an hour ago telling me you weren’t feeling well.”

Katie frowned, suddenly feeling a bit of anger at her mother.

"She was exaggerating, you don't need to worry."

“Are you sure? She told me that you’ve been feeling weird for some days now. Shouldn’t you go see a doctor? Maybe have a few tests run?”

“Lance, I told you, I’m fi-” Katie broke off abruptly, that last word from lance getting in her head.

Tests. She could have a blood test. Quiznack, she must have one of those if she wanted to be 100 percent sure of her condition!

“Actually, I think you’re right,” She said, watching how Lance raised an eyebrow at her sudden change in agreement. “I’ll make an appointment this week. Can you come to the Garrison this weekend?”

Lance bit his lower lip, “This weekend? Is it necessary? Nadia wanted me to show her how to fertilize the Juniberries and I only have time on Saturday.”

A part of Pidge, the part that was tired of seeing her boyfriend only once a month, not counting phone calls, wanted to say ‘yes’. It was necessary and she would love him to come right now if he could, but she wasn’t going to do that. First of all, because they were talking about Nadia, Lance’s sweet, little niece who has treated her like an aunt, and Pidge would never forgive herself for stealing her time with her uncle. And secondly, because of the Juniberries.

“No, that’s fine, you don’t have to come.”

Lance smiled at her answer, “Thank you, I swear that as soon as I have time, I’ll come by. Okay?”

Pidge just nodded giving one last wave before the call ended. She let out a breath she didn’t even notice she was holding.

But, Pidge had a plan now. Something for her mind to do instead of remember again and again about the results of the tests that were still sitting on the bathroom sink, haunting her. Pressing in a few numbers on the communications panel, the screen opened up in front of her again and after a few seconds, Colleen’s face appeared.

“Katie,” the woman sighed in relief. “You took longer than I expected to call, I was getting worried.”

“So worried that you called Lance?” She couldn’t help but comment on that.

Her mother might not have told him the real reason for her discomfort, but still, facing Lance after four positive (possibly) pregnancy tests was not the best feeling of her life. Not when she wasn’t ready to tell him.

It was Colleen’s turn to frown. “I thought talking to him might help. Besides, it was a surprise to me to know that he had no idea you weren’t feeling well lately. “

“You know we’re both too busy-” Katie cut off, snorting, not wanting to get into the ‘Lance and her’ subject just now. “-that’s not why I called you anyway, mom.”

“Oh sure,” Her mother’s face softened, though there was still a hint of worry left. “So, what were the results?”

 _Positive._ A voice repeated in Pidge’s mind, the images of the results flashing across her eyes again.

Pidge shook her head to make it stop.

“That’s not why I called either.”

“Oh sweetheart…” As if she could see through her words, Colleen’s tone became instantly heavier.

“Would Jane have an appointment available soon...for a blood test?” She went straight to the point, trying to ignore the fact that her mother probably already knew.

Still, she swallowed when Colleen gave her a sad smile.

“I can ask Jane for an exam. I think it’s great that you want to do it, but darling... Jane's been an obstetrician for as long as I have been a botanist. She advised you which test you should get, and knowing you as I do, you hardly stopped at taking only one.”

Pidge refusing to make eye contact with her mom seemed to be enough of a response for Colleen.

“I’ll talk to her and tell you what she has available.” Colleen seemed about to hang up, but before she did she said, “Katie, take care of yourself. This means taking care of the little on too.” And the call ended.

Pidge glanced at the wall for a few moments, extremely tempted to call her mother again to say that there was no ‘little one’ to take care of, that they couldn’t know for sure, that even the scientific method can lead to misunderstandings, but that was only her most stubborn part of her. The fifteen year old girl, lost in space part that still remained inside of her, wanting to strongly deny any idea that displeased her. And this idea terrified her.

Being a mother was never one of her dreams. Least of all at the beginning of her twenties. And now, looking at her reflection in the mirror on her door, all her dreams and plans flew through her mind, as her eyes drifted down her petite form to land on her belly.

She just could not believe in it.

Turning her body sideways to get a different angle, Katie lifted her green sweater a bit in an attempt to check the shape of her belly.

Was this really happening to her?

“Are you really in there?”


	2. Facing the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge's going to get her blood test results, but she doesn't think she's ready to know the truth.

“Dr. Holt?”

Pidge turned at the unexpected call, emerging from her work for the first time in some hours to face Chip.

“Doctor, there’s a reminder in your schedule for a medical examination in 20 minutes.”

She blinked, a little surprised that it was coming up so soon. She turned her eyes to the digital clock on the computer screen.

9PM

For such a long week, this day passed faster than she expected. Now it was time for her medical exam with her mother’s friend, Jane.

“Is everything fine, doctor?” Chip asked, his robotic eyes glued onto Pidge. “I noticed you stopped asking me for pain relievers last week although your symptoms remain the same. And now you have an exam.”

Pidge couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her robot.

With Matt back in space, she would be seriously alone in the lab all of the time is it wasn’t for Chip. And, though being alone wasn’t something that bothered her, having the robot’s company was nice, and kept her from losing track of time. But right now, all his reminder did was make Pidge think about her mom.

Colleen seemed constantly preoccupied with Pidge’s physical state this last week. She started treating her as a pregnant woman since the phone call right after Pidge had taken the four tests, and even after five days of insisting that they didn’t know for sure if there’s a baby, all she was able to accomplish was getting her mom to stop saying the word baby and promising to not tell her dad or Matt yet.

When Chip kept looking at her, though, Pidge relaxed a little, feeling slightly embarrassed at her first reaction.

One could think she’s crazy, but Chip is her creation and sometimes she can tell what emotion he is experiencing, even though his face is entirely emotionless. He was worried for her right now.

“Everything is okay Chip. I promise you.” Her gentle tone seemed to calm the robot so she stands up and begins to take off her lab coat. “I may be back in an hour”

“Just to end the programs and go home to sleep, correct doctor?”

It wasn’t a real question. He was subtly telling her what she should do, what would actually be best for her. A small addition from Colleen in his systems.

She snorted, “Yes, Mom.” before leaving the lab.

Pidge had barely walked two steps before her cellphone rang.

“Speak of the devil” She said out loud when she saw who was calling. “Hey Mom.”

“Katie,” the agitation in Colleen’s tone caught Pidge’s attention. “I’ve just seen what time it is, I’m sorry, but I’m too busy in the greenhouse to get away.” She sighed, sounded completely apologetic. “I won’t be able to come with you.”

Pidge frowned, “I don’t need you to go with me.”

She really hadn’t planned to sound so rude, it’s just...she’s a 21 year old woman who’d fought an intergalactic war. She’s more than capable of going to a doctor by herself.

Some seconds passed in silence. Pidge was getting worried that she may have made her mom angry when she, finally, spoke. “I know you don’t”

Her response was tinged with sadness, so faint that if she hadn’t been her mom, Pidge would have never picked up on it.

“I just thought that you would enjoy some company. I mean, I had you Dad with me at every single appointment and ultrasound with you two, and it made the whole process easier. I know I’m not Lance but…” Colleen interrupted herself for a moment and when she spoke again, the sad tone had gone. “Forget it. I can’t go anyway. Hurry up before you are late. Jane is awesome for agreeing to see you after normal office hours in the first place."

Pidge only bit her bottom lip, feeling her muscles tighten by embarrassment again. She wanted to apologize but once Colleen brough up lance, her brain turned into a mess. It dawned on her that she hadn’t thought about him all week. What was happening to her?

“Don’t worry, Mom, I’ve left my lab already. I’ll call you as soon as the appointment is over.”

“Okay dear, have a good night” Just like that, Colleen ended the call.

As soon as she hung up the phone, Pidge wanted to toss it away from her, or scream, or simply sit there in the middle of the Garrison’s hallway and cry. Why was she doing it? Again! She suspected nadia was still mad at her for falling asleep in the middle of a phone call between them, and she’d yelled at Hunk the last time he’d called.

Pidge knew that she had been unbearable this past week, and still her mother, with all the patience in the universe, kept checking on her, cooking meals for her so she wouldn't only eat junk food, being there for her no matter what.

She really should apologize to her, to all of them actually, but, first things first, so she continued on down the hall to the parking lot.

The war had been over for almost four years now, and in the middle of that time, though Pidge didn’t follow it directly, a baby boom had occurred among the survivors. A lot of babies popped up all over the world, including in the Garrison (even Lance’s new niece was born there before his family went back to Cuba to rebuild the farm). This prompted the need for more obstetrician working on the Garrison base and, with Colleen’s recommendation, Jane was hired.

Pidge only had a ten minute drive before she was at the clinic. Only moments later, she was in a gown in Jane’s exam room.

"Oh, Miss Holt." Jane greeted her with a gentle, calm smile, adjusting her square glasses as they slid down her nose.

Katie has known Jane her entire life. Colleen and she were best friends back in college, though they had different majors. According to Colleen, Jane was the one who approached her parents also who took care of colleen when she was expecting Pidge. The woman had always been calm in that way, there wasn’t one time when Katie was not comfortable around her.

At least not until now.

“You don’t need to call me that,” she said.

Hearing Jane call her ‘Miss Holt” felt the same as an aunt call her that. It sounded like a reprimand.

Pidge noticed the relief on Jane’s face.

“Okay, so, Katie.”

She smiled, and, even though she was still nervous, Pidge managed to smile back. That was better for both of them.

The moment of calm, however, was short lived. Jane pulled an envelope from inside her drawer of her desk and Katie felt her heart leap into her throat as the obstetrician handed it to her.

“These are the results of your blood tests.”

Pidge didn’t lift a hand to take the envelope.

Because she didn’t want to.

This whole last week, it was easy for Pidge to repeat to herself ‘the tests were wrong. The tests were wrong', forget she even had an appointment today, and move on with her life as if last Monday had never happened. She had stopped associating her grumpiness and sleepiness with a possible pregnancy and chalked it up to her normal, driven, self.

But, there would be no other excuses once she had the results. For the first time in her life, Pidge didn’t want to know something.

“Do you want me to read them for you?” Jane asked, her arm starting to hurt from holding the envelope out so long.

“NO!” Pidge grabbed the envelope and tore it open, reading down for the answer.

“The results are in the field on the lower left of the paper. If the number is 100 or lower, you are not pregnant, but if it’s higher-”

“Holy Quiznack…” Katie could just whisper, her eyes getting wider as she read again and again the number that Jane was talking about.

Forty-five thousand. That was her number. By instinct again, her hand moved to her belly. Her stomach twisted.

As if seeing what was coming, Jane pulled a plastic bag from nowhere and gave it to Pidge, just in time because Pidge threw up the moment she got the bag open.

The doctor waited patiently, never showing any signs of disgust or fatigue for the scene Pidge was certainly making. It clearly wasn’t the first time Jane had witnessed this.

When it seemed like Katie was done, jane gave her a box of tissues and wet wipes to clean her mouth and eyes.

“That was new,” Pidge spoke rather hoarsely, surprised and a little ashamed of herself.

Jane just smiled while putting the vomited bag into the trash, “You’ll be experiencing a lot of new things, dear. Not only the next nine months are going to be a rollercoaster.”

Nine months…

Nine Months of THAT?!

Nine months with those symptoms getting worse and her belly getting bigger?!

And then what? Her eyes move over to a plastic baby on jane’s desk, naked and screaming as if it had just been born.

“No…” she started low, but her voice got louder as she rose from the chair. “No, no, no- I can’t. I can’t, ok? I cannot have a baby, I-I’m twenty one for Quiznak’s sake!”

“I’ve seen girls a lot younger and more unprepared than you in worse situations.” Janes raised a brow at her, not judging her though.

“I know! But I’m still too young!” Now she was walking back and forth in the room. “There’s so much I want to do, things that I know I could accomplish, and now- I will never have the career I planned!”

“Katie,” Jane’s tone made her stop and look to the woman. Her forehead was slightly wrinkled and there was a touch of anger in her eyes. “Would you say I don’t have a career? That your mother doesn’t have a career?”

“It’s different.” She thought about her Father and Jane’s husband. “You had help.”

“And you don’t have a boyfriend?”

Lance.

Pidge let herself fall into the chair once again. She was pregnant. Lance was the father.

Oh seven hells, Lance was going to be a dad.

Pidge knew he wanted to be one, but surely wasn’t planning on it so soon. He was only twentythree and, though he and Pidge were dating, she knew very well that she wasn’t the one he dreamt about having his kids with. That position was still held by their beloved friend who was nothing but the savior of the universe and constellation in the sky.

She sobbed, trying not to cry in front of Jane, who had only wanted to help by bringing Lance up.

“Can I go?” She whispered to her broken voice wouldn’t be noticed.

Jane nodded. They said goodbye quickly and Pidge left the health center without saying another word or raising her head.

The parking lot was almost devoid of cars that late at night. Not counting her own, there was only one more car that was parking that exactly moment.

“Katie!” Pidge had not expected to have someone calling her.

She looked over at the car parked right in front of her, the headlights shining so brightly, it had blocked her from recognizing the car.

“Mom...?”

Colleen closed her car door before running to Pidge.

“I can’t believe I made it here before you left. Did you get the results? Are you okay?”

Pidge couldn’t answer as she felt her throat closing tight, her vision blurring with tears. Noticing that, Collleen pulled her into a hug, “Oh Katie.”

Maybe it was the compassion in her voice, or the love her mom showed her every day, but the dam finally broke and Pidge started sobbing. She hugged her mother tightly, crying into her shoulder, while Colleen stroked her hair and whispered words of comfort into the top of the head. Right now, Katie was infinitely grateful for her Mom and her unending love toward her and Matt.

And Pidge wondered in that moment, “how will I ever love someone this much?”


End file.
